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"This is going to sound wildly dramatic, but it was one of the most heartbreaking moments of my life. "I genuinely never imagined that he could or would have entertained the thought of cheating on me, let alone sought out that opportunity on a dating app," she says.
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"He spent his free time, holidays, and weekends with me, but was still scouting potential flings on his phone." When someone's online activity directly contradicts their IRL persona, it can be easy to feel deceived or "played." Genevieve, 27, experienced a similar beguilement when her coworker found her partner while swiping through an app. "What really bothered me was that he looked like a perfect boyfriend," she says. Melissa's partner responded by panicking. But one day, when he was showing her something on his computer, a notification from Tinder popped up. She was living with her partner, and they had met each other's families and were planning for the future. It can take a while to establish a sense of mutual trust in your relationship, Sullivan says - but this kind of breach can be a major setback.įor Melissa, 26, catching her partner on a dating app burst her seemingly idyllic relationship's bubble. We had dated for almost two years, and I had no inclination that anything was wrong or that I shouldn’t trust him." "He shared his number, and sure enough, it was my then boyfriend’s phone number," she recalls. And while some scenarios can, in fact, be the result of a case of identity theft or an account that has deactivated, for Stephanie, her fears were confirmed. "I wanted to make sure it really was him instead of just someone using his picture."Įxperts say the discovery of a partner's dating profile is most often met with shock and disbelief, followed by suspicion. "I logged into her account and messaged him as her for a little bit and then asked if we could text," she says. When her best friend informed her that she'd found Stephanie's partner on a dating app, she immediately decided to confirm her worst suspicions. Stephanie, 27, didn't want to wait to process those feelings. "When you first find your partner on a dating platform, thoughts automatically start racing through your head, and you can’t help but think of the worst possible scenarios," Maria Sullivan, a dating expert and vice president of, tells Bustle. They quickly send a screenshot of their profile your way, and just like that, you learn your relationship isn't as solid as it seemed.
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Imagine an unsuspecting single friend swiping away on Hinge or Tinder, spotting a familiar face, realizing they've caught your partner on a dating app, and almost dropping their phone.